NPM 9: Thing

NPM 9: Thing

What are you?” They ask.

Your worst nightmare.

An alien.

A mermaid that got her legs.

A wild thing.

What do you mean?”

You know, your skin isn’t pale white and your eyes are dark brown instead of blue, you look ethnic somehow but I’m too dumb to ask in an inoffensive way.

But they say, “you know, like where are you from?”

Chicago.

The city, not the suburb.

A small working class neighborhood, that you need to be real Chicago to know exists.

I come from streets gritty enough to scare your suburban sensibilities.

A city as beautiful as it is corrupt.

Shining gem on the edge of a Great Lake.

A city as bloody as it is welcoming.

Full of food so good, gluttony doesn’t even seem a sin. It seems the only option.

A city of broad shoulders built on the backs of the immigrants that settled here.

That’s where I’m from.

But that’s not what you mean.

You want to know why my skin is this color, my eyes this shape.

You want to know why I’m different from you.

I’m from here.”

It’s not enough. Your face is confused.

But it’s the only answer you’ll get.

Because it is not a question of what I am, but who.

And you can’t handle that.

May day

May day

When you’ve been so very sad, for so very long, it becomes increasingly difficult to leave your bed.

Nights are unbearable.

A restless mind full of painful thoughts brings nothing but fitful sleep.

The morning light makes the demons scatter, leaving you finally at peace, but unfortunately real life calls and you’re forced to face another day running on sheer will.

The problem is, how do you keep going when you’re slowly losing the will to do anything?

Every day I wake up later and later not even caring about how much time I’ll have to get ready to make it to work.

Some days I make it by nine on the dot, other days I get in at five past.

I don’t even bother apologizing.

But today I did it.

Today I tried.

Today I remembered I have a dog that needs exercise or he’ll just get sick and depressed.

So I forced myself to get up.

And for the first time in months I was reminded of the beauty of an early spring morning. Cold and bright and full of life.

And that’s what I’ve been missing.