Love languages

Love languages

“You know, there’s a book about that.” She said.

“About what?” He asked, walking faster to catch up with her.

“About why every time we fight, you buy me something.” She turned around and stuck out her tongue.

“Oh yeah? Does it say how you like pretty things and I’m the sucker who goes and buys them for you?” He grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

She laughed and tried to pull free, but only half heartedly. He tightened his grip.

“Nooo…” She whined. “It’s a book about the different way people show their love. You show it by giving gifts. You know ’cause you’re a big brooding meany pants who doesn’t like talking about his feelings.”

“Hey!”

She laughed. “What?”

“I’m not a ‘brooding meany pants,’ whatever that means.”

“It means that when you’re angry with me you get mopey and quiet and then I get all paranoid trying to figure out what I did wrong.

And it’ll be something like I DVR’d over one of your shows, or I wouldn’t let you order pizza for dinner again, or I forgot to put away my inks and you stained another pair of jeans.” She trailed off quietly.

He squeezed her hand. “You know I can’t get hot pink and gold ink out of my pants.”

“You gotta talk to me babe. You know I hate that cold shoulder shit.”

“I know, I know. Look, my family wasn’t big on talking things out. I’m not used to it. you know that. We’re all repressed. Look at my mom.” He pulled her into his arms.

“But I’m getting better aren’t I?” He whispered into her ear.

She could feel her face getting hotter.

Public displays of affection both embarrassed and thrilled her, not having been accustomed to them before he stumbled into her life.

She squirmed in his arms trying to break free.

“Remember,” he continued, “when I told you you were gross for drinking straight out of the juice carton?” He brushed his lips against her jaw and down to her neck, breathing in deeply.

“I’m not gross.” She muttered. She enjoyed the warmth of his breath against her skin.

“You are.” He kissed her lightly. “It’s cool though. I still like you.”

“People are staring.”

He looked up and saw a small group of teenage girls giggling in their general direction.

He turned back to her. “Those aren’t people.” he said as he moved his lips to the other side of her neck. “Those are teenagers.” He ran his fingers through her hair and moved his other hand to the small of her back.

“Now what was I saying?”

“You were telling me about how gross I am.” She reached for his face and pulled him away from his neck. She looked up at him.

“Tell me I’m not gross.” She demanded.

He smirked. “Oh you’re so gross. You leave your dirty laundry all over the house. Panties and socks everywhere.”

She laughed. He loved the sound of her laugh. It’s what drew him to her the first day they met.

“Oh yeah? And what else? You have a list?”

He kissed her forehead. “Oh, if I started going over that list we’d end up missing the movie.”

“That long, eh?”

“You’re a brat and a mess.”

“Damn. Should we file for divorce then?”

He sighed. “I think so. Well, we gave it a good run.”

“Three months were long enough.”

“I’ll call the lawyer.”

She smacked his arm. “Oh shut up. Let’s go in, I wanna sit in the back.”

“Ooh it’s gonna be one of those movie visits.” He pulled her towards the theater door.

She giggled and hurried along. “No! I want to actually see this one. I just hate having people sitting behind me.”

“Damn tease.”

“Shut up.”

He winked at her as he opened the door.

“Hey, so what’s your love language?”

She stopped and thought about it a moment. “You know something? I’m not sure. I didn’t get very far in the book. Why don’t you try and find out?”

May day

May day

When you’ve been so very sad, for so very long, it becomes increasingly difficult to leave your bed.

Nights are unbearable.

A restless mind full of painful thoughts brings nothing but fitful sleep.

The morning light makes the demons scatter, leaving you finally at peace, but unfortunately real life calls and you’re forced to face another day running on sheer will.

The problem is, how do you keep going when you’re slowly losing the will to do anything?

Every day I wake up later and later not even caring about how much time I’ll have to get ready to make it to work.

Some days I make it by nine on the dot, other days I get in at five past.

I don’t even bother apologizing.

But today I did it.

Today I tried.

Today I remembered I have a dog that needs exercise or he’ll just get sick and depressed.

So I forced myself to get up.

And for the first time in months I was reminded of the beauty of an early spring morning. Cold and bright and full of life.

And that’s what I’ve been missing.

Stars

Stars

I have this thing with freckles and birth marks.

I think they’re cute.

The other night I was tracing the ones on his back with my finger.  “You know something?” I asked him. “If you connected these, it almost looks like a constellation.”

“Oh yeah?  Which one?”

I traced the outline of the familiar figure once again.

“Orion.”  I smiled to myself and kissed one of the little dots on his shoulder.

He flipped over to face me.  “Turn around,” he told me.

“Why do I feel like you are about to do something incredibly inappropriate to me?”  I laughed and turned my back towards him.

He pulled my tank top up and his fingers searched my back.

“Here.”  He said.

“Here what?”

“Here,” and he leaned forward and kissed three points on my shoulder blade, “is orion’s belt.”

Planets

Planets

I used to dream of traveling through space.

I’d dream of circling around the constellations and soaring across the night sky with the shooting stars.

I would sit at my window and stare up at the moon imagining myself bouncing around it’s surface enjoying the weightlessness.

They bought me a book about the solar system.

I looked through the photos of each planet and decided I would travel to Saturn and dance on its rings.

I told you of my childhood dreams and all you could say was, “that’s impossible.”

I asked you why and you said, “because Saturn is made of hydrogen and helium.”

I laughed at you, always so logical. “Well then, ” I told him, “It’d be like dancing on air.”

Hera

Hera

In the still, quiet hour, just before the new dawn breaks, before the rest of the world wakes, I walk the empty streets in search of one who would know me.

My temples all lie in ruin.

Desolate and abandoned by those who vowed to love me forever.

My name long forgotten, remembered only in passing as that of an ancient, mythical being.

The queen of heaven–lonely without her subjects.

“The stars sing for you,” he told me the night I found him.  “The sun and moon dance for your pleasure.”

He was beautiful; a modern Jason.

And when I saw him, I knew he was the one I had been searching for.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I am no one.”

“How is that so, when you are already mine?”

“Then why ask?”

I loved him.

I lived with him.

I allowed myself to age with him.

The day he breathed his final breath he asked me, “who are you?”

“I am yours.”

“But who were you before?”

“No one,” I replied.