I keep a list of men close to my heart.
These are not men who have loved me. 
No, I do not have those.
I keep a list of men, of men who have caused me pain.
The men who have chipped away at the fragile defenses of my heart and my soul.
The men who have taken all of me and given nothing in return.
I keep this list of men, each marked with their transgression– cheating, lying, manipulation and abuse– and I make memory of the things I lost with each one.
I keep it so I learn to not be so foolish again.
I keep it to remind me of the cruelty of those who would so easily take my love and use it against me.
I keep it as warning signs for when I let down my guard and try to love again.