Category: Personal

TMI Tuesday

TMI Tuesday

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 8 Comments

So I took this from illicit thoughts who does these little questionnaires every Tuesday. 🙂

1. Toilet paper. How do you hang your toilet paper? The end coming over the top or with the end coming from around the back and at the bottom?

The fact that I change the used roll and place a new one on is amazing enough. I don’t give a fuck how it hangs.

2. Towels. Do you use a new one each time you bathe or reuse?

Uhhh….I use the sucker until it occurs to me to switch. Or it kind smells. I’m disgusting I’m sorry.

3. Bathing. Do you use a washcloth to clean your body or use the soap directly all over your body with no washcloth?

I use little scrubby gloves. I feel so smooth and clean afterwards.

4. Bra. Do you remove your bra by taking your arms out of the straps first, then inching it around your body until you can reach the clasp and undo it or do you contort your arms, and reach around and unclasp.

The first way sounds like it takes longer than just reaching behind you and un-clasping your bra. It takes me less than thirty seconds to rip this shit off.

5. Dishwasher. Rinse/pre-wash all dishes before loading or just load.

We’ve never had one, so I don’t know how to use one.

6. Breakfast cereal. Cereal in bowl first, then pour on milk or put milk in bowl then add cereal?

Cereal first. Always.

7. Toothpaste. Squeeze from bottom working way up tube as it empties or squeeze from middle or wherever you want?

I just squish wherever until that becomes difficult then I start pushing up the paste from the bottom.

8. Condoms. Do you put it on your lover or does he put it on himself?

Ehhh they have done it themselves.

9. Condom disposal. In the garbage bin or flush down toilet?

Why would you flush that? I’m pretty sure that’s not allowed. Their it in the garbage. That’s like girls who flush tampons or pads. WHY YOU DO THIS?

Bonus: Write your own bonus question and tell us an intimate detail about you or your habits.

Oh! I have a bad habit of just coming home from the gym at night and throwing my sweaty self in bed. It’s gross. I know. But I’m so tired…

“My question… Have you ever worn the same undies two days in a row? Be honest!”<– her question

My answer: yes. But not in public. Like if I wore my chones one day, then went to bed and the next day, woke up and just bummed around the house so day my undies will not change until I shower.

Now you guys know I'm gross. 💋

😈

100 Happy Days

100 Happy Days

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 5 Comments

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” — Anne Frank

I feel like it shouldn’t be so hard to be happy.

Happiness should be one of those things granted to you by life– Like the ability to breathe.

However sometimes I feel like I get so caught up in looking for grandiose happy moments that it keeps me from appreciating the small simple moments that happen daily.

Things like the the train running express directly to my stop in the suburbs, sitting in the sun room with my roommates laughing about silly things or waking up to the sounds of a snoring dog.

Lately I’ve seen the hashtag “100HappyDays” floating around the vastness of the interwebz on simple picture posts about pies, flea markets and unpacking moving boxes and I was intrigued by the idea of these small tokens of happiness.

My intrigue led me to Google the hashtag and I found a website by the same name.

The concept is simple; be happy.

Find the happy in 100 consecutive days without giving up.

One of the main excuses for people not completing the task was a lack of time.

The hecticness and stress of a busy schedule cause most people to miss the things keeping their lives from being a complete mess.

Or maybe I’m projecting?

Regardless I liked the idea of finding the small and the less obvious and signed up for the challenge.

However because I’m a writer and I’ve been going through a small bout of writer’s block I’ve decided not to only photograph my happy, but to also take those moments and write about it.

So consider this a precursor to my hundred happy days and I encourage you, my dear friends, to take the challenge. Even if it’s not in taking a bunch of pictures and hashtagging the crap out of them, like many of us like to do, but just taking a moment every day to recognize the small, the insignificant, overlooked parts of our lives that make us smile every day.

Because those are the things that will shine in the moments when everything seems so dark.

So here’s to 100 happy days.

Love in the time of bed bugs

Love in the time of bed bugs

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 12 Comments

I’m exhausted and I know I should be closing my eyes soon, but this seemed important to share.

According to my mattress boo, Chicago is now number one in bedbugs and that has filled me with an overwhelming fear and paranoia.

Let’s get back to my mattress boo.

Friday night we went out for all you can eat sushi at this sushi bar in Roscoe Village. I’ve found myself in Roscoe Village more often than usual as of late.

After dinner we passed a mattress store and my friend decided she wanted to go in and just test out the mattresses. so we made up a story that I needed a new bed and went in. we were greeted by the most adorable man.

I saw him and I wanted to test all of the beds out with him.

But first I had to grab the giant stuffed sheep.

Wait, I’m not making sense. There was a stuffed sheep on one of the beds facing the window. I wanted to hold it and squeeze it. I asked if this was okay.

He laughed and said yes.

He took me to the first bed and told me to lay down.

I almost pulled off my panties, but I refrained. My other two friends watched and laughed and chatted with him as well.

We spent half an hour in there chatting with him about beds and warranties and then bed bugs came up and I cringed.

Bed bugs and life.

why are people so disgusting?

Anyway, that’s pretty much it. I’ve fallen in love with the manager of a mattress store in Roscoe Village. He’s cute and sweet and friendly and he was a carpenter for 15 years and he’s new to the city.

I want to have his mixed asian, white, mexican babies and sleep on a $5,000 bed.

I dropped my spoon

I dropped my spoon

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 13 Comments

And I’m seriously considering just using it anyway to eat my pudding.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I have a pudding snack in my lunch. Because when you’re a grown up you can have whatever you’d like.

*note* I totally used it and ate my pudding. It was delicious.

My coworkers are being entertained by an app called Rando.

If you’re like me, you’ve never heard of the app before I mentioned it.

It’s an app which allows you to take a photograph of whatever is around you and send it to any person in the world (who has the app as well) at random.

It seems fun, I have yet to download it because, well, I don’t care enough to.

I’m feeling icky and I seem to have a strange case of the blues.

Tomorrow there is no work to be done.

Thank God.

Aside

Xanga Writer’s Spotlight–

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 8 Comments

So this was posted on Xanga and I thought I’d share it here cuz some of you aren’t on Xanga anymore. In case you are there and you want to go over there and rec it here’s the link— Xanga Writer’s Spotlight

And the Xangan in this month’s spotlight is…

@thesecretlifeofpandas !

 

Her Favorite Piece:  I loved this, I wrote it for a scavenger hunt…a lot of my favorite things were products of the scavenger hunts. Scavenger Hunt II 33  and if you’ll bear with me, this one too: Scavenger Hunt II Numero 20 

1)    When did you first become a member of Xanga?

I started my first blog December 1, 2003. Kastlerulz.xanga.com. Everyone in my tiny school had one. I cannot remember why I started it exactly or who told me about it, but it was a thing so I jumped on that bandwagon and never looked back.

I made my first post as the secret life of pandas on January 20, 2005.

2)    How did you begin writing? What inspired you? Who inspired you?

I guess it started with bedtime stories. I come from a family of avid readers. My parents and my sisters would read to me all the time. I fell in love with the written word. I fell in love with telling stories.

In first grade, I was part of the bilingual program, briefly, at my elementary school and due to the encouragement of a counselor,  I entered the young author’s contest (http://www.illinoisreadingcouncil.org/yac.html) with a story called “A Day Without a Friend.”  I wrote it because one of my neighborhood friends had moved away and I was upset about it.

Kiddie coping mechanism.

I won 1st place at my school and was invited to go to the state conference and accept my award.

It was at the age of seven that I decided I wanted to write.

3)    What’s the meaning behind your Xanga username?

I heard about the book “The Secret Life of Bees” and thought “The Secret Life of Pandas” was funnier. I was also tired of Kastlerulz. I figured a blog should have a clever name. Kastle rulz seemed a bit egotistical.

4)    Who’s your favorite author/poet/writer? Why?

It’s so hard to chose a favorite. I know that sounds like a cop out.

There are so many that I love– to say that I love more than the other wouldn’t be fair since they are all so different.

But I will throw a few names out there because they are inspiration.

Sandra Cisneros, her writing is so relatable and soothing and it flows like cool fresh air. She’s also one of the most adorable people ever.

Edgar Allen Poe, I made my sisters read The Raven to me over and over again before bed that I had it memorized as a little girl. It was The Raven and Goodnight Tiny Dinos by Guy Gilchrist (after much Googling I discovered it was part of a series from the 80s, MAGIC) that were my night time favorites. Greatest line from Goodnight Tiny Dinos, which I will always remember is “not the palm tree sandwich, not the mango mush, but the toothpaste and the brush.” Gold.

Stephen King, he is a master of creeping me the fuck out and I love it.

5)    What’s one thing, if anything; you would tell everyone about yourself that they may not know?

That’s hard too. Especially here in this place where I over share in ways that are probably incredibly obnoxious. Hmm… I have a huge birthmark by my bellybutton that kinda looks like the island of Crete.

6)    What’s your preferred genre or style? Why?

I really enjoy writing in first person narrative. I like writing in such a way that makes the reader unsure of whether or not what they’re is reading is fact or fiction.

7)    What inspires your writing now?

Mood. My surroundings. An interesting word or phrase or sentence.

8)    What do you plan to do with your writing in the future? Ex: publication, starting your own literary magazine, writing as a hobby, etc.

Well, I’m trying to get something published. Anything at this point would make me happy. I’m currently working on a novel and hoping I get around to finishing it.

9)    How does it feel to be in the spotlight?

Pretty darn exciting.

10) Who would you like to see in the spotlight next?

If you continue this I would love to see NoGraySunflowers. Betsy has always inspired me with her writing. I think it’s beautiful.

 

What I Like About TheSecretLifeOfPanda’s Work:  

Jenny’s writing is very raw and real. Her work relates and forms a connection with the reader. Sometimes it only tugs on the heartstrings and other times it yanks on them, but no matter what the experience is enjoyable. It’s an experience I found myself going back for time and time again.

As for her preferred genre style, while I’m not usually a fan of first person, she’s made me a believer in it once again. For a while I staunchly avoided first person because I told myself it was cliché and used only by “weak” writers. I’ve since amended my beliefs. A great writer is one who can use all the tools of the trade, and use them in such a way that the resulting work is awe-inspiring.

Her work pushes me to become a better writer and to try topics I normally avoid. Her work has also inspired me to more fully develop characters in such a way that the reader gets a sense of them without having to be told everything in a matter-of-fact way. Her work will put the bit back in your mouth if you’ve fallen out of touch with reading and writing, and if not, you’ll still find yourself wanting to sit down at a keyboard or pick of a pen and do what feels natural.

My Favorite Piece To Date: I Finally Got Around To Finishing This

Now it’s your turn, Xangans. In the comments share what you like about thesecretlifeofpanda’s writing and presence here in the community. And if you don’t know her work then you definitely need to head over to her site right now and educate yourself.

Keep Writing

—Jen

@MyHomeIsWriting