Month: July 2013

Control

Control

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 7 Comments

I cannot think of a conversation between us that does not involve sex. 

Nothing ever comes up that doesn’t at some point lead us there, to that moment where you enter me and I sigh, fully content to be so close to you again.

Everything about you is lust and passion and intensity and I am never my best self when I’m with you.

For you, I do anything in the name of pleasure. Even the things I said I wouldn’t. Even the things other men have shyly asked for– embarrassed by their own perversion– that I’d denied because good girls cannot like those things.

But you’re not shy. You know what you like and you know what you want and you don’t ask for these things, you suggest them, you sell the idea of them to me in the most provocative of ways where I end up begging and pleading for you to do it all to me.

And I cannot understand how we got to this point. I don’t know how I became this version of myself so consumed by you I’ve forgotten where the line between pain and pleasure, shame and confidence, love and lust, lies.

It’s a line that just gets blurrier every time I offer myself to you, to use however you’d like.

Bad Wolf

Bad Wolf

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 13 Comments

SPF 100.

Is that really a thing?

I guess it is since that’s what this bottle says.

My life has been a never ending cycle of severe sunburns. 

I can’t resist the sun, I am a creature in love with it.

Last summer my sunburn was so severe that the lines from it were with me through October.

We’re going to the beach today. I mean we as in my friends and I, not we as in the royal we, which we are so fond of using.

See what I did there?

Don’t hate me.

You know it’s a beach day when I shave all the way up. Instead of the way I normally do which is to just above the length of my skirt or capris. Which we do because we are lazy, lazy, lazy.

Lazy.

Leg shaving is time consuming. My friend says to wax. Wax is painful. I get my eyebrows waxed and that doesn’t really hurt since the nerves must be dead from constantly plucking since I was 14. Thirteen years of plucking and waxing those into neatness will kill anything. 

But sensitive virgin legs?

No thank you.

My friend just texted me to tell me she’s on her way to pick me up. We’re going to a new Doctor Who themed coffee shop for coffee, and pastries and friendship time before heading off to a beach in Evanston.

That’s the thing you know?

You either go to North Avenue Beach or you leave the city.

I am alive. The weather is beautiful. I’ve been up for hours.

I love you all.

Image

Happy Birthday, Frida

by TheSecretLifeOfPandas ♥ 5 Comments

Happy Birthday, Frida

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

–Frida Kahlo